Buffy the Vampire Slayer Court
by Wesker's Son
Summary: Sequel to "Buffy's Q&A", this follows our BTVS cast as they sue each other over trivial things inside of the court of the Honorable Wesker's Son! Leave trial tip/suggestion as a review or PM me!


Before you say it, yes, I got this idea from nedthejanitor's DBZ Court fanfic, I'm just going to spread it across series. Trust me, you'll love it.

**_Disclaimer: The only disclaimer of the story: I own nothing, not even the idea!_**

"Please, we'll pay you!" Xander said, his arms giving out from under him as Mr. Popo watched him with a large smile.  
"Pecking order, maggot." Mr. Popo simply said before the phone near him rang. "Hello. Oh, hello…oh okay… they were getting boring anyway, I always have Krillin." Mr. Popo said before he hung up the phone. "It seems you maggots got very lucky; you've been called away."  
"Wait a minute, to what?" Buffy asked to which Mr. Popo smiled.  
"You'll have to find out for yourselves." He warned before they began fading, making Mr. Popo elicit a terrible, cruel laugh.

The Scoobies and everyone else found themselves in a court room, strangely empty.

"Why are we in a courtroom?" Spike asked, warily looking around. "I don't have a good feeling about this."  
"You shouldn't." A familiar rang out as the doors at the back opened to reveal a familiar figure.

"Oh god no, not again." Faith said as the figure, wearing a black robe and with a gavel in his hand, walked past her.  
"Please, please, send us back to Popo." Xander begged. The boy smiled as he climbed into his judge's seat.

"It's nice to see all of you again." Wesker's Son, formerly known as Naraku's Brother, said as he looked at the characters. "I missed you guys, did you miss me?"  
"NO!" They all joined together to say that one phrase, making WS smirk evilly.

"Aw, how I missed this." He said before he noticed they all were shouting at him wall at once, equaling into nothing but voice on top of voice. WS, annoyed quickly, banged the gavel against gavel-slamming-thingy. "Hey, one person!"  
"Why are we here, NB?" Buffy asked, standing from her seat.

"Ah, first, it's not NB anymore, it's WS for Wesker's Son, and second of all, you're all have been summoned to court by someone else." WS informed.

"Who?" Giles questioned  
"Someone else." WB answered. "Everybody in this room is guilty of something besides murder and I have decided to judge each of the cases that were brought to my attention, plus, you all agreed to it and signed a contract."  
"We never signed a contract."  
"Yes you did, we forged, I mean obtained a signed copy from each person in here, including the dead ones."  
"You're just as cruel as I remember." Angel stated, glaring at his new judge.  
"Well, thank you, Angel, but flattery will not help you in the court of law, I am supposed to remain impartial." WS said, smiling at the pissed vampire. "Anyway, so let me tell you what will happen. Each case will be presented by the plaintiff, who will be at this here desk, and the defendant will defend themselves as they try to prove why the plaintiff's claims are false. Whoever loses the suit will be receive a punishment from yours truly, which will be either ironic or hilarious to me."  
"Why?"  
"Because I said so, just be grateful, you can go home and look over your cases for two days, then you will come with your defense." WS said, making everyone gasp in shock  
"Really, you're not joking us?" Cordelia asked.

"Of course not, I can be a nice person…well, not as sadistic person." WS said before he banged his gavel. "See you in two days, I broke into…I mean had your case files at your homes are places of location. If you do not report back, I will hunt you down and while everyone else goes home, you will stay here, cleaning up for the entire night with the World's Most Annoying Music playing. Court dismissed." He said as he retreated to his quarters.

-2 days later-

"All rise for the Honorable Wesker's Son." Spike, now bailiff, said as WS came from the back and sat down in his seat. "Well, you actually didn't do a smart aleck comment, I'm proud of you, Spike."  
"Shut the bloody hell up and let's get on with this stupid mockery of the United States justice system." Spike replied as WS's smile faded.  
"Give me the damn case file and check your attitude, I could've made you the court jester." WB shot back. "And that position is still open."  
"Yes sir." Spike grumbled as he handed the case file to the judge.

"Alright, so the first case is Willow vs The Trio for being the reason behind her temporary insanity." WS read as looked at Spike. "Huh, sounds like an interesting case. Send them in."

The plaintiff and defendant walked down the aisle in an orderly fashion before heading to designated seat. "So Willow, please, explain to the court why you are suing the Trio for your insanity."

"Thank you, your dishonor." Willow said, making WS smirk. "As all of my friends know, my insanity was cause by the death of my dear love, Tara, which was cause by Warren, whom was a part of the Trio at said point of time, therefore, I would like to get justice for my insanity."  
"Didn't you get justice when you flailed Warren, which is arguably the funniest scene in BVTS history?" WS asked, making Warren frown at him.  
"Hey, that was not funny, it hurt a lot." Warren stated before WS waved his hand and once again, Warren was flailed quickly, leaving him screaming in pain as the air touched his exposed muscles, making them sting.

"Hey, when I want your dumbass defense, I'll ask for your dumbass defense." WB shot back, to which Jonathan and Andrew nodded. "Continue, Willow."  
"Thank you, your honor. I want actual justice from a court, not vigilante justice; it may work for Gotham, but not for me." Willow replied.

"Willow, I love you but that was one of the lamest jokes I've ever heard." WS quickly said, making Willow's brave smile become a frown. "Now, Trio, let's hear your dumbass defense."  
"Thank you, you-" Andrew began.

"Shut the hell up and get on with your defense." WS said in a chilling tone, making the Trio tense up.

"Well, if I remember correctly, when the Trio was arrested for our numerous bank robberies, Warren left us, leaving to the Trio being disbanded, before Warren went to Buffy and tried to kill her, but failed and killed Tara too." Andrew said.

"First of all, Andrew, he left you since you were planning on deserting Jonathan; secondly, was there an agreement that-"  
"Can I have my skin back?" Warren shouted, interrupting WS questioning. WS waved his hand and Warren's skin was magically restored. "Thank you."  
"You're not welcome, now approach the bench." WS said, gesturing for Warren to come.

"Why do I-"  
"APPROACH THE DAMN BENCH WHEN I TELL YOU TOO!" WS snapped, making Warren run his ass to the bench. "Let me see your hand."  
"Why do you-" Warren questioned before he caught a glimpse of WS's eyes go red, leading him to put his hand on the bench. WS then proceeded to slam his gavel onto Warren's hand with as much strength as he could, which was truly a lot.  
"OW, WHAT WAS THAT FOR?" Warren asked before WS slammed his gavel on his forehead.

"FOR CUTTING ME OFF, DUMBASS, ONE MORE OUTBURST AND I WILL RULE THIS CASE IN THE FAVOR OF WILLOW!" WS shouted at the wannabe villain, who quickly shrank and ran back to his desk to hide behind his desk. "Back to my original point, was there a formal agreement or contract signed to officially end this horrible disgrace of villains?" Warren head poked out to make a sound but the gavel thrown at his head with such force that it knocked him out. "Answer the damn question and bring my damn gavel back, Spike."  
"No, we just assumed." Jonathan said as the grumbling vampire grabbed the small hammer and threw it back at the judge who caught it and gave him a sarcastic thumbs up.

"So you just assumed that the group was disbanded, correct?" WS said.

"Yes."  
"Well, if you idiots knew anything, until there was an official agreement by the members-"  
"Jonathan and I agreed when we were arrested." Andrew protested before he earned a broken nose from the gavel being thrown in his face.  
"-**_all of the members_**, whether they are traitorous bastards or not, the group was still in session in my eyes. So look, you know I'm about to rule this case in Willow's favor," who smiled at them," so do you have any other reason I should let any of you Stooges go?"  
Jonathan and Andrew looked at themselves in a desperate attempt to come up with a way to sway WS's verdict.

"I reformed in the end?" Andrew shakily stated.

"I am ruling in favor of the plaintiff, the best witch to ever live, Willow, over the weakass defense of Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Tweedledumbass." Judge WS said as he banged his gavel. "So, I will give you idiots a choice, you can either go to help out on a Hellmouth, where many slayers have met their end, or pick garage on the side of a highway-"  
"Pick garbage!" Both Jonathan and Andrew said.

"Alrighty, pick garbage on the side of the highway built specially for the elderly, blind, and people who love to commit vehicular homicide in fast cars." WS said, smiling. "I told you never to cut me off."

"Wait, no, we-"  
"Sorry, need all three members to make a decision change." WS said, pointing to the still unconscious Warren. "Bailiff!" With that, Spike dragged the two struggle weaklings and unconscious killer to the teleportation room. When Spike came back out, WS banged his gavel.  
"Next case!" WS shouted as the vampire handed WS another manilla folder.  
"Oh, I'm going to need a new bailiff."

"What, why?" Spike asked, frightened.  
"The Anointed One is suing you for failing to uphold your contract you signed with him when you came to Sunnydale."WS said. "Angel, you're my new bailiff for now."

Angel, moping walked up there and took the position Spike had. "Let the case begin."  
The Anointed One, who will hence forth be known as Collin, and Master, his lawyer, walked to the plaintiff's desk and pulled out his briefcase.

"So, Collin-"

"Don't call me that." Collin snapped.

"Why everyone so bent on getting on my nerves right now?" WS asked, smiling as he leaned back in his chair. "Look, _Collin_, I will call you damn well what I please or else I will throw this case out like your dirty diapers yesterday, understand?"  
"You should do what he tells you, he has ancient powers." The Master said, earning a nod from the child to his side.

"BULLSHIT," WS snapped, banging his gavel so hard, the gavel-banging-thingy cracked, "this little brat never revealed any power besides the fact that he was a vampire. Give me one good, fucking reason I should be afraid of this little twerp or else you and your little brat will have to answer to my good friend, Doctor Richard Trager of Mount Massive Asylum."  
Collin's eye began to glow red as he transformed into a gigantic bat that broke the roof of the courtroom.  
"First of all, you're nothing compared to what I've fought before, and secondly, transform back into a kid or else I throw this case file in the trash!" WS shouted, as the bat let out a sigh and transformed back into Collin. "Also, you're paying for that roof." WS said before he snapped and the roof was fixed. "Back to what I was saying, Collin *growl*, how exactly did Spike not uphold his part of the contract?"  
"As you can see here," the Master began, pointing on his part of the contract, "Spike signed that we would provide shelter and protection for his mate, Drusilla, and in exchange, he would kill the Slayer. Well, not only did he fail to kill Buffy, he killed Co-*growl*,er, the Anointed One and ended Order of Aurelius, leading the countless deaths of the many members."

"Angel, can you bring that contract?" WS asked sweetly, but the vampire stood still. "Hey, Angel, if you don't move, I break your legs and then you'll become the clown jester."

Angel quickly retrieved the old piece of paper and brought it to WS, who pulled out reading glasses and looked over the contract.  
"There is nothing in here about Spike being ordered not to kill the Collin." WS read. "Nor is there any clause of which he can't take over and disband if Collin is killed in battle. Matter-of-fact, dumbasses, it states that if Collin is killed, Spike is to _take over leadership of the organization_."

"Well, it never was stated that Spike could kill the Anointed One." The Master stated.

"So, that means there is _no_ term of punishment, idiot!" WS snapped. "If it wasn't inside of the contract, then that means that Spike _cannot be punished by a court of law_!"  
"So, what can he be punished by?" Collin asked.

"I ruling in favor of the defendant, Spike, and I am sentencing Master of Bullshit to a nursing home and the Wannabe #1 to a daycare." WS stated. "And if you get any ideas," WS said before he snapped his fingers, "you two are now human and back to the weakness of your normal self."  
"You can't do this, I'm the Anointed One, people cower when they hear my name." Collin stated.

"First, no one is scared of _serial _killers named Collin, so you can get that out of your tiny, conceited head; secondly, this is _my_ courtroom inside of _my_ fanfic, I can do whatever the fuck-hell-damn I want, bailiffs, get them out of here in time for bingo and storytime!" WS shouted as Angel and Spike smirked at each other and dragged the two used-to-bes into the teleportation room. "Case over, court dismissed, till next time."

Well that was the first chapter of BTVS Court, if you have an idea or suggestion for a case, PM them to me. Until then, stay out of trouble unless you want to end up in the 2nd worse civil court, right behind Judge Judy! Till next time!


End file.
